Стихи на английском языке

[April90]

Насколько я помню, это моя первая и единственная тема... а ссылки-то кому мешают? Это же не ссылки на порносайт или какой-нибудь вирус...

Немного нового:

34. Wings

I raise my swollen eyes to reach your sight,
I try to guess the song that's in your head,
I'm only thinking
Of how I will dream of you tonight,
While looking through the window from my bed,
As always drinking
Plum wine with morning flavor from the glass
You drank from when you came and made my day,
This way it's better.
I scan and gather moments due to pass,
I rhyme the words I cannot simply say
And write a letter.
We all are fallen angels with one wing,
We fly once flesh and souls do entwine,
Let's come together.
A wing is frail, but never ever think
I'll let you fall - I'll gladly give you mine
If yours lacks feathers.


35. One Moment

The imprints of your fingers
Have marked a half-full glass.
The sentiment still lingers,
The moment's due to pass.

Your glance can still appear
In my Campari drink
Like blood that's mixed with tears,
Or passion's scarlet ink.

My hand's already missing
Your gentle velvet skin.
My heart is reminiscing
The sweetest little sin -

The dream that made my morning.
Your arms, your voice, your lips
Discover space for yearning...
I'd better go to sleep...


36. Crimson And Black

I'd sell my heart in paperback,
In verses for perverts to read.
The crimson lines look good on black,
Just like the world behind my lids.

For crimson is my poisoned blood
You'd never want to mix with yours,
For black is my denying heart
That's stained with lies and dead remorse.

Erase my love and drain my mind
Until my memory is void,
I want to be completely blind
To every trifle I enjoyed.

Your gentle touch is like a burn -
I play pretend I'm fine with heat.
I've reached the point of no return,
I find my peace in self-deceit.

 

[April90]

37. Life Replaced

I am drenched in silver smoke
With my weekend brandy mates,
Laughing at the same old jokes,
Taking part in drunk debates.

When my forces get united,
I will leave the noisy bar,
Soon to find myself invited
To a ride in someone's car.

Midnight dates, adventures, strangers,
Mad ideas for some fun,
The temptation of the danger
To be liked by everyone,

Lust, elation, merging faces
Lighten all the darkest days.
But past love's lost scattered traces
Aren't that easy to erase...


38. Sincerity

The times of the rhyming sensations are ceased,
It's no surprise evil love has deceased -
My heart is a chamber with limited space,
Indifference got all my feelings erased.

Frail fibre is used to the memories' blade,
My thirst for your love is about to fade,
Deceiving myself is revealing the truth,
The pain of desire is easy to soothe.

Two opposite planets, two opposite spheres,
Both ruled by denying just being sincere
Will never be one due to different laws.
I have to accept it the way that it goes.

Sincerity stands for the lack of control,
And love never even existed at all.
So what does my poetry speak of, indeed?
Old scars are deprived of the pleasure to bleed.

 

[April90]

39. Reminiscence

I miss the tune of my ringtone
That no one except us knew;
I went to bed with my cell phone
And dreamt of hearing from you.
Your voice became my sole salvation,
Your breath - the sweetest lullaby.
I miss the waiting at the station,
Observing people passing by,
And then - your smile, a hint to linger
To have a menthol cigarette
I took from cold yet gentle fingers...
And guess what happens in my head
At times I drink that lemon beer
Or white plum wine, or cold ice tea.
I'm holding those mornings dear
And keep all memories with me.

 

[April90]

40. Breakdown

The smell of Kent
Failed to bring me to life,
I felt almost nothing, kept silent like dead.
The poisoned blade
Of a sharp kitchen knife
Was bound to cut me, I dropped it instead.

It wasn't meant
To take place then, alas,
My memories, lurking, denied suicide.
My guise would fade
In a half-empty glass
And you would not even find out I died.

My swollen pride
Was revealed in my eyes,
Yet weakness was hidden behind my eyelids.
I stayed awake
To the gloomy sunrise,
It haunts me at moments when consciousness bleeds.

My other side
Is still craving for life;
These tough contradictions make up my true core.
Just one mistake
Fights the urge to survive
Or live ever after like never before?


41. Actress

I've turned to an actress regardless my will,
Life's poignant scenario brought me the skill.
Performing, I find the salvation
In changing my costumes and masks.
It keeps my true guise ever changing in turn,
The art of arranging's not easy to learn,
It's more than just bright decorations.
I've handled a difficult task.

I fear the thunder, still dance in the rain,
The gloomy surrounders claim I'm insane,
Not seeing the sense in its absence -
The actress is always to blame!
My tragical comedies last for a while,
Erasing the concepts "the truth" and "a guile".
Deceiving the evident essence,
I'm playing this innocent game.

I speak every language of pleasure and grief,
I've heard every rumor you spread and believe.
Well, I am the subject this season,
In fact I am proud of it.
I'm nursing the thought they keep talking of me,
Quite happy to seem a discover-to-be
For no particular reason
Except such a playful deceit.

 

[April90]

42. Reverie

I am breaking the vast glassy surface of make-believe seas,
As the moonlight is cutting the throat of scarlet sunrise,
I am screaming my heart out loud, I need to release
All my silently bitter emotions. I pray to the skies
To remain in this world for a lifetime and ruin it then,
In this perfect small drunken creation, in my fairytale,
In the land that's beyond now and never, some time and nowhen
And indulge in the smell of tranquility I can inhale,
Where the past in a twist with the present and future unknown
Is revealed in the blossom of orchids and blue camomiles,
Mighty lightnings of fate never strike in this land of my own,
In this place I'm the only survivor. I'll stay for a while,
Till you come to my shelter and sing me a love serenade,
As you own the key to the gates, and the key is my heart,
First you gift me a dream, then you steal it from me, then you fade,
And I wake. It's another new day. It's another new start.


43. Fire

I used to compare myself with a fire,
So sudden, so restless, so hard to predict -
A definite danger from miles to admire,
The gamut of colors one couldn't depict.

The flame is extinguished. The reason is clear -
I crave for love fuel and only one match.
I'm stronger than every invisible tear
That turns to a raindrop. I'll start from a scratch.

I'll be a good guide for my soulmates-strangers,
A guard for the lost and the ones of this kind,
For anything frail I'll reveal only danger...
However, a match is not easy to find.

 

[April90]

44. White On White

Blank papers of bitter today
Do treasure the words white on white;
If they are forbidden to say,
Then my privilege is to write.

I choke on the poison I've drunk,
The root of my love is in grief;
I'm learning the foreigners' tongue
To perpetuate my belief.

The strength of my weakness denies
The myth only half proven true;
The lines that I can't recognize
One day were composed by you.

The sequel could come to an end,
But sanity claims it's too late,
I take all the pain to defend
The worlds my illusions create.

 

[April90]

45. Duality

The pleasure to speak is my lost privilege,
And now insanity dwells on a page,
However, it's changing the color in days,
Revealing the truth my white pencil portrays.

But I'm getting sick of the poetess' fate,
I only enliven the worlds your create,
Denying the myths you don't want to believe,
Or perpetuate every side of my grief.

Today it's triangular, soon to be square,
Or even linear, in case you are there,
You skillfully play with my changeable mood,
I'd steal such a talent from you if I could.

I paint the reality, live in a dream,
Duality kills me, I just want to scream,
I'll find the salvation when holding you close
I'll speak of my feelings and keep them in prose.

 

[April90]

46. Bound To Leave

It's half past eleven, he's bound to leave,
She's holding back tears, she whispers: "just stay";
He cannot reveal any reason to grieve
And says: "I'll be back, I will see you some day".

Some day in Novemer is meant to be spring
That comes after February's damn thirtieth night,
When fantasy birds are encouraged to sing
In violet rays of the navy blue light.

...Her soft gentle voice is no longer that sweet,
Her mirror reflects such a vague silhouette,
Not able to simply get back on her feet,
She spends every day half-awake in her bed.

And when he recalls her in April or May,
He'll only discover a cold empty room.
The neighbors will frown and tell him the way
To where an orchid will wilt by a tomb.

 

[April90]

47. Changes Part Two (November)

I'm looking around - a year has passed,
The moment I seized is forever to last,
The secrets of cherished November
Still live in the imprints of soft fingertips
You left on my key, in your eyes that eclipse
The various colors of amber.

The waters of changes surround my shore,
The eyes of the suburbs see right to the core,
Respond to my heart's aspiration.
Eternity lingers in love's every breath,
And it is my place from November till death,
My shelter, my sweet isolation.

It's plain and it's simple - I have understood
That I will keep writing this story for good
And send you mysterious letters.
Discover the worlds that my verses create
For you to unravel and investigate,
Just keep them, and nothing else matters.

Part One:
http://aprilavalon.ucoz.ru/Website/2011.htm#Changes

 

[April90]

48. Together Apart


I'm dissolved in the song of the rain -
In the echoing beat of your heart.
It's you pulse that still feels in my veins
Every day spent together apart.

Autumn alters the shades of the days,
Seasons change - we remain all the same.
An immaculate image portrays
Sheer grief in a beautiful frame.

I am kindling the candle of love,
And the lighter replaces a match.
See, in years it's getting too tough
To create this immaculate sketch.

Once your arms are a shelter for me,
All my dreams have the space for us two.
You're the shore to my bottomless sea,
We're apart, but I'm there with you.

 

[April90]

49. Boundless Sea

You just say you will always be there
When I need you right here with me;
I am trapped in the wave of despair,
Dreams escape to the boundless sea.

I indulge in the sense of December,
In the cinnamon scent I inhale;
This tranquility makes me remember
My old sweet Scandinavian tale.

It's the voice of Suomi that's calling
My still frozen heart to the North,
As the wheel of my fortune keeps rolling,
It is time to live on and move forth.

I'll keep moving in every direction
I can change by my own free will;
On my way to complete resurrection
I'm the one at the steering wheel.

If I dare to change your embraces
To Norwegian winter's caress,
Will the blizzard conceal all the traces?
I'll be loving you, nevertheless.

I will meet you nowhen and nowhere,
In the depth of the boundless sea;
In my dreams you will always be there,
And my memories - here with me.


50. World Oblivion

Sometimes it's hard to welcome changes
And learn the art of letting go;
It's only fortune that arranges
And doesn't even let me know.

I need the key to solve the riddle
And make the scattered pieces fit;
I'm stuck somewhere in the middle
Between your truth and my deceit.

The answer's got, yet I'm not trying
To find the question that relates;
Escapism of my denying
Reveals the World Oblivion's gates.


51. Digits Of Love

I'd send you a dream in another e-mail
And open my heart to attach,
But it would be hard to explore and unveil,
Since digits and feelings don't match.

The digits of love are a changeable thing
Without a permanent code,
However, the vivid emotions they bring
Still fill the handwritten plain note.

My messages turned to a terrible mess,
Unfiltered, they bury the truth,
It's hard to conceal, and it's hard to confess
They all are mistakes of my youth.

A look through the glass back to winter of fate
Reminds me of beautiful times
When magical digits from zero to eight
Appeared as love fixed in rhymes.

 

[April90]

52. Pearls To Diamonds

I've changed black pearls of cherished then
To sparkling diamonds of today,
It's all arranged, I've got a plan,
At such small price as love to pay.

I'll sell my dreams as plain free verse
To any weekly magazine,
With no fear or remorse
I'll break the bounds of routine.

If my heartbeat is still upset,
I'll just select some different pitch
Or even try another fret
In search for harmony to reach.

The changing music in my head
Will always keep me in the wave,
I'm weaving future like a thread
For more to wish, for more to crave.

I'm leaving passion far behind
with its exhausted silent force,
No longer love will make me blind
Or seize my whole universe.


53. Loneliness

When loneliness pierces your heart like a thorn,
When memories seem to replay all your past,
When some contradictory feeling is born
To remnants of love that was not meant to last,
Your temple of hope is about to fall,
The shade of your sun is about to fade,
The wheel of your life is reluctant to roll,
It feels like a permanent dance on the blade.

You search for the answer in every small sign,
You trust every symbol, you wish on a star,
You drown your grief in a glass of mulled wine
You two used to drink in the same cozy bar.
You find the salvation in bittersweet lies,
In fact, it is clear like a crystalline ball:
Just look at yourself with your destiny's eyes,
You'll see love has never existed at all.

 

[April90]

54. Greeting Tomorrow

My love-jaded heart will no longer respond to the sound
Of whispering raindrops in fall or a train passing by.
I've got brand new wings, yet so frail; I lose touch with the ground
To take to my fantasy velvet mysterious sky.

I'm fine in my bulletproof shell and I quit endless waiting
Like quitting an old nasty habit and moving ahead,
Exploring the worlds that my own deft mind is creating;
Old passion's extinguished along with one more cigarette.

Whenever I light one, its taste and its sweet bitter flavor
Remind me of sharing a kiss I imagined that spring;
If only that winter I'd been just a little bit braver,
This all would have come to the same tragic end in a blink.

The guise in the mirror of spring is a blear reflection
Of somebody already dead and forgotten at all
Yet standing the very last chance for the heart's resurrection;
I swear I'm back on my feet, you may shoot, I won't fall.

The past is all gone, so one day I'll forget to remember
And gladly discover I've chosen nothing to keep,
Awaiting another July and another December;
And now it's time to put down my pen and just sleep.

What dreams are to haunt me, I wonder? Next morning I'll know,
My mind is still blank as I'm totally sober toight;
My desperate thoughts and my fears are letting me go,
I'm ready to enter the kingdom of misty midnight.

I'm ready to enter the gates of tomorrow now,
Today is a legend and yesterday - just a mistake.
I'm crossing the line, I will make it all through anyhow,
Just happy to live and to breathe every morning I wake.